Posted by: cochinblogger | August 4, 2009

A Robert Brooks Imitation

Robert Brooks was a British real estate agent whose newspaper ads were remarkably honest. He pulled no punches about the houses he advertised. Typical is the following opening sentence of an ad: “An air of genteel decay hangs over this Nash masterpiece in Kent Terrace, Regent’s Park.” I recently bought Mud, Straw and Insults: Confessions of an Honest Real Estate Agent, a collection of his funniest ads, from a used book exhibition. I’ve been dipping into it at irregular intervals. It’s wonderfully entertaining reading.

My thoughts wandered in church the Sunday after this purchase. The house on the other side of the church wall caught my eye. I wondered who stayed there. Suddenly, an impromptu Robert Brooks-style ad for the house sprang to mind:

“House regularly shaken to its very foundations by the full-throated hallelujahs issuing from neighboring church. Although it sways gently in a strong breeze, the house still stands tall and proud. Atheists are discouraged from purchasing.”

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