Posted by: cochinblogger | December 14, 2011

Discharging One’s Duties

My teacher-colleague was recalling the time when he was compelled to leave the classroom to answer an urgent summons from nature. After the operation was over, he found to his dismay that someone had latched the door from outside. Fortunately, my colleague had his mobile phone with him, and was able to summon help with it. Otherwise, he may have had to bang on the door, shout, etc.

The experience had left him shaken, however, and his audience of fellow teachers clucked sympathetically. Our hero, basking in the glow of our undivided attention, added, “And to make matters worse, I could not even discharge properly.”

There was a collective groan. Our hero had earned a well-deserved reputation for cesspit humor, and we were familiar with his more earthy outpourings almost to the point of immunity. But this was too much.

“Please spare us the gory details,” I pleaded, speaking on behalf of the spectators, both male and female. The visuals conjured up by my colleague’s confession were too graphic and disturbing even for me.

The speaker gave me a withering look, and cut me down to size with “What a dirty mind you have! I merely wanted to convey that I was not able to discharge my duties to my satisfaction after I returned to the classroom.”

I took that explanation with a pinch of salt – but to be sure, he isn’t an English lecturer for nothing. 🙂


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