Posted by: cochinblogger | September 30, 2013

Kerala Bar Lore

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It was my brother, who has traveled around the world, who told me that India boasts the best bar food in the world. The photo above shows why. This is a typical Kerala bar menu.

By the way, soon after taking this pic, an incident occurred that put me off my food. I was sitting alone at my table, watching the trio at a near-by table winding up. However, one of them had put his head on the table and appeared to be asleep. A phone call woke him up, and after fielding the call, he went to the rest room. His companions were paying the bill when he emerged from the rest room, weaved his way unsteadily to the bar exit door, and paused. Then he puked right there on the floor, wiped his mouth, and staggered out. I didn’t see him again.

A short while later, his friends settled the bill and walked to the door. The first man looked at the mess, stepped over it, and vanished through the door. The third man paused when he reached the mess and stood there for a few moments. He seemed fascinated by it. Then he smiled, pulled out his phone — and took a couple of photos of the mess.

The photo will, I’m sure, appear in our hero’s Facebook timeline. 🙂

A little later, the staff in the bar noticed the mess. The waiter sighed, walked to the rear of the bar, and disappeared from view. A little later, he reappeared with a boy, who walked over to the mess and studied it for some time. Then he went back in and a little later emerged with a rake, a pail, and a small cardboard box. The first thing he did was to sprinkle the contents of the box over the mess. I found out later that it was sand. He then compacted the mess with the sand using the rake, after which the cleaning operation was trivial.

I was impressed by the know-how used to clean up the puke. Truly has it been said that every profession has its secrets, else it wouldn’t be a profession. This was a case in point.

I once asked the manager of another bar how he dealt with drinking among his employees. Surely some must be tempted to steal a sip, if not more, on the job. He told me they were strict about this, and used breath analyzers on their staff. 🙂

For more Kerala bar chronicles, see Philosophy in the bar.

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